2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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