Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
