your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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