Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
