is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
