sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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