I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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