let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
