whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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