i would punch a child for taco bell
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
