Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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