wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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