Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
