Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
