she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
