Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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