I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
