I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
