it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
