dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I see more hoeing in ur future
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