Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
