you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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