Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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