So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
