All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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