The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
