Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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