She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
