Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
