i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
