do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
