ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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