Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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