my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
40s are totally the cure
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
