Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
