I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
