cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
