My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
