He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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