something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just googled if crying burns calories
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
