the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
