going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Houston, we have a blender
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
