Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
