Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
