that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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