I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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