he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
