At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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