I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
