I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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