How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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