yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
