the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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